


Mister Overthinker

by Taishou



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Double Agent Ryuji, Eye Trauma, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mementos, Monamobile, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:15:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taishou/pseuds/Taishou
Summary: Don't close your mind and you'll kiss me tomorrowI miss you remember I always...Let It Die-You Shall Die-
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Sakamoto Ryuji, Phantom Thieves of Heart/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Mister Overthinker

Despite the multiple sleepless nights, Ryuji was still in Mementos, sitting in the leather seats of the Monamobile. He was squeezed in between Ann and Makoto’s space, the two of them with their shoulders raised and faces far from happy. They seemed stressed in the heat of the moment, with the two constantly trying to squirm farther from his thighs. It was honestly a little too much for him. 

The subtle touches that the two girls gave him trying to escape the cramped area were sparking warning signals in his head, making him tense subconsciously when a bump from the tracks jolted the two right back to his shoulders. Ann quickly gave him an apology, Makoto let out a huff, and then once again, they moved.

Sure, losing sleep was something to fuss about, but Ryuji had a job to do. The Phantom Thieves were throwing their sense of justice everywhere they could, but now it was downright silly; since Sae’s palace was nearly finished, they were readying themselves for the worst outcome (that being the arrest of Akira), and getting closer and closer to use Akechi for their own gain. That’s not justice in Ryuji’s eyes. That’s manipulation. 

Akechi used manipulation for his own gain, sure, but in a way, Ryuji did all he could to show him other methods of finding justice.. Whatever justice was anymore. In a sense, Ryuji felt compelled to help the both of the Phantom Thieves and Akechi in his own ways, listening to Akira whenever he needed some sort of time to rant, and staying by Akechi’s side to tell him the ins and outs of their group. 

Still, Ryuji was getting  _ tired.  _ Both Akechi and the Thieves were too much for his brain to handle, with all the things Akira and the others said, and with Akechi praising him for each special thing he did.. It was nice to hear sometimes, but over time, he had begun to realize that once again, manipulation was for someone’s selfish gains. 

Mona skirted to the side, instantly throwing the three of them together and squishing Ann in the process. Too much contact, too much contact,  _ too much contact,  _ he grunts as Makoto pulls off of him and glances to the roof of the van. “Mona, did we hit a shadow?”

“We did! Joker, who’s gonna come with you?” 

Ryuji turns to Akira, who in turn glances to the rest of the group and picks two, Haru and Yusuke. Ann, however, quickly gives Ryuji an apology and pushes him back to the middle. After all, he was definitely going to become part of the fight. 

It didn’t sound right.. Fighting against shadows had no true purpose for him besides getting out his anger and hatred of the world. While the others had a more important, “justified” reason for fighting shadows, all he had to go through was his bastard dad and a broken leg. Surely that wasn’t enough for him to be fighting for these people in the first place. 

“Skull?” 

He jumps as he hears the codename, shutting his eyes and whipping his head to face Ann. “Yeah?” Shit, he shouldn’t have been overthinking so much..That was always his damn issue. 

“You’re okay, right?” She murmurs softly, scooting closer to him and that jolt of panic that courses through his veins causes him to tense even more. “You’ve been quiet the entire ride, I’m just.. Worried for you.” 

“M’fine.” It’s a quick response, something to ease Ann’s concern for the time being. He  _ was  _ fine, there was nothing to be worried about! He’s with his best friends, despite getting closer to Akechi’s goal, and they’ll be by his side until the very last moment. So, he’s fine. For real. 

It hurts when he sees Ann’s disappointed frown, her brows furrowing underneath her mask and her eyes sparkling with.. What he hopes to be, concern. “Okay, but you’ll tell me if everything isn’t fine?” 

“Yeah.” 

No. 

As soon as he speaks, he catches Akira from the corner of his eyes, noticing his studying look and pursed lips. Here he goes again, that stupid stare Akira gives him when he’s not up to par for a fight. It’s almost infuriating, damn it, he can get through a couple skirmishes! He’ll take every hit just like he does every day, to show he’s  _ just fine!  _

“Queen, join us.” 

All the anger subsided as his eyes widened and turned to the brunette. Even she had a look of surprise, her mask moving up just slightly when her brows rose against her forehead. “Me? What about Skull?”

“He’s going to stay here. We may need him for any lower parts of Mementos, so we’ll save the best for last.” 

Lower parts, eh? Since when did they go any further than they needed to? If anything, that was more of an excuse that he could read right through. He’s not that stupid, if anything, he’s observative. 

The van shifts once the doors open, with Akira, Makoto, Yusuke, and Haru jumping out to take their time in decimating the shadow ahead of them. Yusuke had said something to Futaba, with the two slightly bickering. Well, that’s what he thinks they’re doing, since Ryuji is starting to zone out a little. 

“Inari, just go and fight!” Futaba’s voice cuts into his mind and he winces, turning to face the ginger in question. Her mask- well, helmet really- is laid on top of her forehead, and her fingers were poking Yusuke’s nose constantly, seemingly pushing him away. “They’re waiting for you!” 

After a moment, Yusuke sighs and begrudgingly steps out of the van and runs to the action. Finally, some peace and quiet. 

“Hey Ann,” Oh for god’s sake, “Do you think we’re gonna go deeper into Mementos today?” 

“Hmm..” The blonde relaxes into her seat, pulling her mask off and resting a hand on her thigh. “Maybe? Well, Skull’s gonna be good use I think during deeper sections.. At least that’s what Joker said.” 

Futaba wiggles in her seat and brings up her laptop, quickly opening it and inspecting the fight outside. “But the others are doing just fine.. Skull could easily beat this guy to pieces if he wanted to.” 

“Um.. I don’t know if he can, right now.” 

A lingering silence soon falls between them, causing Ryuji to squint and cock his head to the side. Both of the girls were staring at him, just downright boring holes into his face with their big eyes. A surge of panic trembled through his bones and he scootched backwards into the wall of the van. “What?” 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Skull?” Ann asks again, and there goes her furrowed brow. “You seriously don’t look well. Like.. you haven’t slept.” 

From the corner of his peripheral vision, he sees Futaba’s shoulders raise just slightly. 

“Well, Sae’s palace has been crazy, and I’ve been busy trying to.. Study. Yeah, study.” As soon as the words flew out of his mouth, he cursed himself for his terrible acting. If Akechi were here, he’d be helping him out! Of course the detective had to be busy with something.. 

“Since when did Skull study?” Morgana’s voice rumbles from the van and Ryuji can feel a headache coming along already. “Sounds suspicious..” 

“What? It’s not!” He barks back to the cat, van… thing, his knuckles hitting the interior sides. “I can be responsible sometimes!” 

“Sometimes.” The van echoes, and he swears he’s going to walk right out into the battle and beat the crap out of whatever shadows they were taking down. Morgana always had to find something to mock him with, no matter what the circumstances were. Morgana did something wrong? Blame it on the stupid guy. Ryuji stumbles or misses a hit? He’s pathetic! He was getting tired of it all. It was really starting to show when his teeth began to grind together. 

He remembers when he told Akechi about the stupid cat and he was met with an angry stare from the other. It was the first time he saw something that  _ wasn’t  _ fake and pristine on the boy’s face, and damn did it surprise him. Well, everything that wasn’t his normal smile surprised Ryuji, but he’ll think about that later. 

“Can you three just. Leave me alone?” He gives them a critical gaze and an exasperated sigh. “I just want some peace and quiet, damn it. Especially you, Morgana, zip it.” 

Tension heavily falls inside the van, leaving the two girls to find something else to focus on and Ryuji to rest in his thoughts. Finally, he needed a moment. Sure, he did like talking and he loved to make jokes with Futaba, but now was not the time for any of that stuff. 

Why would there be time for that stuff now? He was a traitor, just like he was with the track team. 

Suddenly, the smell of iron hits his nose and everything goes dark, darker than usual, and the sticky pool of liquid suddenly drenching his hands. His eyes, unknowingly closed, flew open and he jumped out of the seat, whipping his head to and fro as the world began to shift and form around him. The smell of iron, of  _ blood,  _ gave him a wave of nausea and he staggered backwards into something rough, throwing him completely off his balance and sending out a yelp in the process. There, in front of his very eyes, was a torn apart Ann, her jaw ripped straight out of her head and her neck flipped in an awkward side. Her gaze was filled with death, but he could feel the horror underneath it all, the chill that was sent into his body sending him into overdrive and frantically searching for the others. Where did Futaba go? Was Morgana still running? Why was he inside Morgana? What was going  _ on!?  _

He threw his body to the front of the van and fell on something decrepit and cold. Instantly his instincts kicked in and his hands went to drag whatever was underneath him away and onto the ground. Bad idea, bad idea, his mind screamed, as he saw the shattered figure of Futaba fall with a loud thunk into the floor. Hair snagged out in certain places and her eyes wide with pure terror, it took everything in Ryuji not to gag at the rancid smell of death. What the hell happened!? Everything was just fine, nothing was wrong! They were all just quiet and Ryuji was just simply out of it! Right? Right!? 

“Get me out of here!” He shouted, his hands wrapping around the handles of the monamobile and turning so hard it broke in front of him. No no no, no! Panic was already beginning to settle in his body, twisting in his gut and rising bile into his throat. He slammed his hands over and over against the glass, throwing every ounce of decency out the window and shrieking in pure terror at the world surrounding him. 

The more he forced the door open, the more he panicked, his hands shaking far too much to grasp a good hold onto the other handle. This was his only hope, his only chance of getting out of this world of death! If he could just-

The door springs open and he falls onto the ground with a loud “Oof!” then the pouring of blood drenching his back. The warmth flooded onto the leather and the squelching of the liquid only furthered his movements; his hands grasped the train tracks and hoisted him upward to escape the onslaught of blood. 

Once he was outside the van, he took in a gulp of air, then shivered and heaved once onto the ground. Blood was everywhere, the smell was too much, he could taste it on his  _ tongue,  _ and that’s when he finally noticed dismembered bodies surrounding him. 

_ Their bodies.  _

Haru’s was the first one he saw; her hat was covering her face, but that didn’t help anything just a bit. Her chest was ripped open, rib cage protruding from the outfit and intestines piling everywhere around her. She was bent in an awkward position, her arms visibly broken with jutted bones near her joints. It was too much to handle, and the sobs that wracked his body only made things much worse. What happened? Why is he here? 

“Akira!  _ Akira! _ ” He called out, his entire body shaking with each scream. He had to find him at least, he had to see if this was all a stupid prank! Something to scare him, something to go straight into Akechi’s embrace! That’s what it had to be, the stupid fucker was toying with him! Morbid, distorted, they had to be playing jokes on him! 

To his dismay however, Yusuke and Makoto were piled together in a scramble of limbs, their bodies severed in different sections and blood still pooling out of their gaping mouths. It was rancid, it was too much, everything was too much, why was everyone torn apart? What the hell? What the hell? What. The. Hell-

Something, no,  _ someone,  _ groans out his name, causing the blond to whip his head around. Someone is still alive! He just has to save them, and then they’ll get out of here! His legs are the first to move, running away from the corpses and searching for whoever was near. “Hey, hey! Where are you!? I can get you out!” He searched more and more, going through massive amounts of debris and shadow blood. Was it Akira? Is Akira safe? The panic settles in and he shifts faster and faster through the surplus amounts of trash, pulling out endless seams of leather, a red glove-

No.

“Akira!? Holy shit, Akira!” He digs faster and faster, eyes nearly falling out of his sockets when he finds blood soaking throughout his gloves. If Akira is here, then he can get him out of there! The others are gone, if he could just get him out…

As soon as he met his face, Ryuji quickly grasped for his mouth and strained every muscle in his body not to lurch forward and get rid of the rising bile. Akira’s eyes were  _ gone,  _ instead boring into Ryuji’s face being sockets too mutilated to even bother trying to help. His hair was tousled and unkempt, and the more the blond stared, the more he could see broken ligaments. 

“A-Akira! Oh god, I’m so sorry.. I-I can get you out-” 

“Why should you?”

The seething hiss Akira gives him causes him to flinch, like a blade cutting skin. “..What?”

“You left us here to die, Ryuji. Did you really think we wouldn’t notice? That you weren’t really helping us? Pathetic, that you’re even here trying to save me.” 

“Wh-what?” No.. It couldn’t have been that simple, right? It couldn’t have been! He was being so careful with Akechi, he was careful with everything! How did they know!? “I haven’t been doing anything-”

“My eyes are torn out of their sockets, Sakamoto.” The lack of a first name throws his heart into submission, forgetting everything and staring dumbfoundedly at the broken man before him. “You did this. You wanted us to suffer, isn’t that right?”

“What a sick joke.” 

The world around the two began to devolve, black ink-like structures giving way to shadow’s claws that wrapped around his waist, neck, and legs. Once again, the panic bubbled, struggling heartlessly through the binds and giving Akira a terrified look. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please let me go! Let me  _ go!” _

He was being dragged down, farther and deeper into Mementos, with Akira’s face turned perfectly to Ryuji, sockets bleeding and torn. “No. This will be your coffin for all time, Ryuji. This is what you deserve.” 

“ _ Akira! Let me go! LET ME GO!” _

Deeper, darker, colder, scarier. He was being dragged by everything and nothing at the same time, like he was being pulled underneath the sea to drown. It hurt, the pain in his chest, digging into him like a knife. It twisted and pulled, relishing in his anguish as he fought more and more to escape his shackles. Akira betrayed him, and what could Ryuji do? 

He cried. 

He was going to be here forever, and he deserved it. 

_ Of course he did. _


End file.
